She sat there with her red and white stripey vest top on that she bought two sizes too small with her flab is hanging out the bottom, her black bra blatently on show over the top with its special padding so her chest resembles 2 bouncy castle's ever so slightly. On her throne of empty 'Strongbow' cans her pitbull called 'Brap' trots on over with blood dripping from his mouth, yes, he has had his daily toddler and is ready for a sleep after drowning it's sorrows in a dog bowl of carling, it licked her hands and she swore ferociously as it knocked the cigarette bud out of her hand. She hadn't actually smoked the cigarette, but let it burn down as she posed, even a bud with no actual fag on the end is better than nothing at all. She gets up and her massive gold chain, dusted with fake diamonds falls down her 'cleavage' and she has to dig to pull out a giant 'S' which stands for Suzan, or Big Suzie as she has commonly became to be known as. Big Chav Suzie turns back from the strongbow thrown on the side of the street and returns to her carboard box of a house, this is of course, because those kind of houses have no gardens.
Then there is Jean Valjean. Jean Valjean, commonly known as Valjean, is a masculine, hunky french man with a beast of a moustache and a killer smile. He likes to "embrace" people (so to speak), especially boys but today, Valjean caught Big Chav Suzie's eyes. It was a magical moment, at the park, Valjean was sat on a bench preparing for his next victim, his regular boy Andy had came a bit early so now he had to wait around longer than usual for Ryan to arrive. Sometimes he got paid for his embracing but other times not. Valjean decided to take a walk and Big Suze was there with her best friend Bianca smoking some weed they managed to buy via prostetution. Big Suze was immediatley attracted and after some Valjean time, was later to be heard singing his praises.
What do Big Chav Suzie, Ryan and Andy have in common? They have all be embraced by Jean Valjean!
Ooh Valjean!
Haha, Mrs G saw Andy Valjean-ing in rehearsals. muppet.
I'm helping little Monet read her book 'Charlie Bone and The Blue Boa' a highly innaproppriate title for a 8 year old!! It's really hard as well - okay, i sooo made that alot worse!! But anyway! You try explaining 'oblivion' to an 8 year old! I did have a nerd spew though and got excited when I had to explain what a Prologue and a Epilogue was. Oh well. NERD!
'Les Misérables' is getting quite interesting. Not my favourite book of all time, but I think I deffo need to see it on stage!!
I'm bored now! I just thought I would write the Valjean story for Andy and Ryan. There is a sequel, 'Valjean does busty milf' but that's for a different day!
I dont think this blog deserves a quote but I shall quote it anyway...
"Black holes are where God divided by zero." - Steven Wright. It's a maths joke.... I have to cater for all audiences, this one is for Squid.
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